True friends

It's so simple and easy, for friends to

1) Coo and drool, smile and laugh along with you
2) Be easy-going, fun-loving and celebrate the happy moments with you
3) Be unquestioning and uncritical, and lavish you with those sugarcoated, complimentary replies that are pleasant to the ears, boost the ego and gain brownie pts for themselves

But there are a few others, whom, despite the risk of

- Being regarded as a wet blanket/party dampener

- Being misunderstood, blamed, forsaken by you

- Incurring the wrath of you, or the person(s) in question;

`

Choose to:

1) Burst your bubble and raise pertinent problems you are evading, point out your flaws and where you've gone wrong

2) Give you their honest, even if harsh opinions of you/somebody/something and challenge those lame excuses and rationalizations of yours

3) Issue stern admonishments and warnings to knock some senses into you and to cut short your agony
4) Do away with those flattery to voice those valid concerns, disapproval and objections in the way you behaved/handled something so that you don't make a further fool of yourself

It's not a glamourous role nor is it rewarding. More often than not, the good intentions may fall on deaf ears and obstinate ways.

Here, a belated thanks ( also thanks in advance) to all who have, at one point or another say what I may not expect to hear, not want to hear but absolutely need to hear. Thank you for your big-heartedness to wake me up from those reveries, to correct those faults, right those mistakes and let go/move on. It's really appreciated:).

Kindness doesn't pay

I saw the thick wads of surveys those interviewers were laden under
I saw how they are snubbed and shunned by others curtly
I saw the looks of disappointment and rejection in their eyes
And I decided to help them out this once
So instead of accelerating and using my bags and acquisitions (hee:P) to shield me from them like I usually do
I slowed down and agreed to be surveyed

Interviewer: Thank you , m'dam for your time.
Me: Was a tad bristled by the overzealous 'm'dam' greeting from the auntie but i let it pass and dutifully furnished her with some personal particulars

Interviewer: And you are 25 rite?
Me: Shakes head. Yay! Too young-->Underaged--> That's me:P.
Hee, havent had that for a long time. A gleeful smile appears subconsciously.

Interviewer: Not 25? She peered up and raised her eyebrows quizzically. She runs a check on me and emphatically gestured with her fingers. Two- Five.

Did I look as if I dun understand simple Chinese?
And 25 yrs is abt 700 days off-mark. Ok fine, perhaps I'm too sensitive. But hey, using what we've learnt in sch, +/- 5% , it's still highly significant!!
Miffed, I started to walk away, ticking myself off for being so helpful.

And then i heard her pattering footsteps behind me.
'Excuse me, excuse me. U are 26? 27? 28? Still can do the survey.'

Her shrill voice pierced through from one end of Taka where she was standing to the other end where I was.

Right...
Kindness doesn't pay...sometimes.

Not anymore...

Though CDs of adored singers can be bought
Though iPod can play and replay those favourite songs over and over again
I still love the radio
For the magic it weaves when a favourite tune is spinned, a favourite song is played.

While I can't decide on the playlist, stop the irritating commercials , or know what song is going to be played next, this unknown also creates an anticipation that heightens the enjoyment of the song when it's finally played. A jolt of delight and an appreciation of the song that hearing a song from a personalised playlist can't replicate.

Back in pri and sec sch days, there were no radio websites to display the songs being played. The happiness of hearing a nice song is very often accompanied by the agony of not catching the song title and not knowing wat song it is. What typically follows would be days of waiting, much hoping, some exasperation and a little guessing till the song is played on air again.
Today, a click on the radio website will tell of the song being played. And lyrics and mp3s are plentiful so that the song once discovered , can be downloaded and saved, looped and played repeatedly.

But the waiting makes hearing the song so much sweeter and relished, back then. The rush to grab a paper and pen. To jot down the lyrics as fast as possible. To retain as much of the melody as the brain can hold and the incessant humming after that to remember and memorise the song.

I miss that feeling.
In these days of instant gratification and excesses.

Where movies are most of the time, last minute affairs dulling the anticipation/elaborate planning and booking of tickets that used to be
Where one keeps dishing out rewards onto onself that they don't inspire nor empower like before
Where sales are so commonplace they fail to excite anymore

As i watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory days ago, I wondered if chocolate would still taste as precious and heavenly to Charlie after that golden ticket that can now convert those rationed nibbles on the chocolates to indulgent munching and gorging...

Mind Game Decoded

THE MIND GAME

Age group: All, especially noticeable in people stepping into adulthood

How to Play: Encrypting feelings and thoughts into politically correct/neutral/pleasant statements and comments

We hide, we mask, we fake, we conceal.
Sometimes consciously, other times unconsciously.
At times enjoyable, at times burdensome,
Still, we view it as something that is part and parcel of life.
Like it or grudge it, we continue to play along.
For the fear of offending, for the hope of pleasing.
To avoid rejection, to win acceptance
To fend off embarrassment and awkwardness, to acquire stylishness and slickness

Levels:

1) Novice
What begins as a gesture of humility as has been grounded in us:
To be humble, not to be pompous
To be thoughtful, not to be self-centered
To be easy going, not to be difficult
Slowly evolves from self-deprecating remarks to diplomacy
Hypocrisy slips in unnoticed
Insincerity leaves its insidious marks .

2) Intermediate
From trying to please and soothe with the 'I'm okay', I'm fine', ' I don't mind' even when one clearly isn't
To the mechanic dispensing of 'so sorry', 'doesn't matter' ,' it's alright' , 'i feel bad'
The suppression of temper, weariness and jadedness in those 'maybe', 'perhaps' and 'we'll see how it goes'
To working on squeezing out that smile- 'you're faking a smile with the coffee to go' (Daniel Powter, Bad Day)

3) Master
Feelings are muted and the mind is numbed
Others are confused as to who we are
We too are unclear of who we have become, what we want

We think we are being nice and considerate, but are taken for granted and taken advantage of
Others getting the vibes from our answers and smiles, are miffed and lost as to what went wrong and what they did wrongly


The 'hi-s' are many but the 'byes' are even more
What we want, we don't say.
What we don't want, we pretend we want
What starts out as sensitivity towards others, ends up as hurt for self and others

We want to win others over but lose ourselves
We hope to appease and placate, but end up aggravating
We seek to be understood but skirt over awkward moments by teasing and jibing
We want to help but realise how little we know of others
We have fun but can't share the tears
We are good friends but also strangers


To quit:

It's not simple- not at all.
When playing the game has become an automatic reflex.
When fingers churn out those diplomatic phrases on MSNs, SMSes and blogs
When all the 'fine' and 'alright' spring up from our mouths, without the need to think.
We can sigh...but we can also try.
To make things a little less complex, a little simpler.

Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,', 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. ~Matthew 5:37

Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No," no, or you will be condemned
~James 5:12

He'll Stand By You

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-24


When no words spoken can console
When no amount of questioning can provide answers
When tissues can't stop those tears
When shutting the eyes don't chase away the pain


L dear, He would be there.
To calm and to soothe
To lift you up from the rocks
To wipe away those tears
To keep you safe
Every step of the way

How Long Would You Wait

A new wave of personality test fever seems to have hit town recently though the accuracy of those tests still leaves much to be desired. Forget OKcupid. Forget the Coffee test. Here's presenting the test of the season:

How Long Would You Wait?

You have a direct bus, A and four other bus services, B,C,D and E where you'd need to change buses to get to your destination. Route taken by all 5 buses are similar.

You take a relaxed stroll to the bus stop.

You wait for 5 minutes. Buses B, C and E have passed. The direct bus, A should be here soon, since the whole horde of buses usually come all at once.


Would you:
1) Hop on to Bus B-E and let the matter rest there and then, reaching your destination happily.
2) Hop on to Bus B-E, keep peering back and hoping you won't see direct bus A, lumbering behind within your viewing distance, or worst still, overtake the Bus B- E that you are on.
3) Wait for Bus A to come.

If you choose option 3, read on, for this is how the scenario may unfold.

Another 5 minutes passed. Bus A is nowhere in sight. Should you hop on buses B to E that seems to be coming in streams every minute. You've seen the third C passed in 10 mins. Nah...direct bus SHOULD be coming alrdy, after so long.


Another 10 minutes passed. In between, the 4 indirect buses have already made a total appearance of 24 times, 5 to 6 times each, on average.You are running late. Another bus D comes by. Should you just hop on? You hesistantly flagged the bus but before it stops, *hold on* you've waited so long for bus A. It SURELY must be coming. You surely don't want to see Bus A peering through the rear window of bus D once you tap that EZ link card upon boarding Bus D, leaving you hopping mad. You slowly withdraw the hand that flagged bus D down and walk away from the spot, hoping that some passengers will get on board so the bus driver won't stare at you as if you are a hard-core prankster.

3 more minutes tick by, someone called to offer you a lift- in 5 minutes. Huh? Yet another 5 minutes,so long? Forget it, u scoffed . Bus A HAS TO COME.

Yet another 3 minutes gone by. And you are still standing at the bus stop.Too embarrassed now to call and ask for the ride after the haughty declination of having to wait 5 minutes. You try to appease yourself.You try to entertain yourself. You try to rack your brain for an excuse to give for turning up so late, how can you admit and tell the truth when the truth is soooooo silly.

Wait a minute. It's finally here. You make up the 2 numbers of bus A in the distance and shove to the front of the bus stop so you can be the first to board the bus. You waved, you flagged, you refused to let that hand come down till the bus stops right in front of you...

But it didn't. It zoomed on- and you see why. The bus was filled to the brim with passengers.

You are left...speechless.

The results:

For whoever skipped right through the entire passage to this part:

You are impatient and not a person of details. Time is of utmost importance to you and so you can't be bothered to read through what seems like a long-winded and irrelevant description you can do without. :P...You are likely to be an achiever because you are very results-oriented and knows how to prioritise and manage your time well (by not reading a boring and long blog like this). However, before you start gloating. Beware that your downfall is cockiness. Cos there are many more, even smarter people who don't even visit this blog.

If you chose:

1) Nonchalant and carefree. You look at the big picture most of the time and don't let trivial matters get to you and hold you back. You are flexible and easygoing and usually well-liked by all.
The downside is that people may misunderstand you and think that you don't care or value something/someone/ a relationship very much because you won't go too far/wait too long for getting the things you want.

2) Pragmatic and rule-oriented. You want to get the most out of watever you do. The value- for- money/ efforts mentality. You weigh the pros and cons and do cost-benefit analysis to get the most optimal way to do things - and you act accordingly to what is prescribed . Whether you truly feel that it is the right way to do things is another issue. You are willing/able to suppress your personal feelings and views to get to the goal. However, you lack confidence and belief in yourself, and so, even as you execute the plan, you need constant assurance that what you are doing is right, and you hate to be proven wrong.


3) Stubborn, obstinate and foolish. You embark/start off brilliantly. You are patient. You are determined. You are focused. But after some time, the patience deterioriates into stubborness. You know its not right. You know you should turn back before it gets too late. But pride gets at you. You appreciate/treasure/value something/someone more than you would like to. Beneath that strong exterior, your sentimentality rules. You hope that things would right itself- if you wait long enough. And during that time, you are blinded and let opportunities/people pass you by. But you can't let go. You keep harping on certain matters/ things/people. You don't want to admit defeat. You don't want to bow down. It's hard to start over again and how could you forsake that belief/thing/ person? So you choose to cling on.


Copyright: Cranberrymist Aug 05
Are you happy with your results? Share this with your friends by sending them this link cranberrymist.blogspot.com. All comments are also welcomed.

Days of Our Life

There are good days when:

No one can dash the top-of-the-world feeling
You can't wipe that grin off the face
You feel light, with a skip in those steps despite feasting on delicious cakes heavily laden with butter and creamy cheese
Setbacks are taken in the stride
Follies of the past are forgiven
You bounce back after disappointments with zest and optimistism
You seek solace, find comfort and are firmly anchored in His words and teachings

Then, there are bad days, when:

Everything seems wrong
And you can't pin down what exactly's troubling you
Such that even thick, smooth, rich chocolate don't uplift the mood

A neverending string of woes betide upon you
Problems gnaw and dishearten and self-doubt plagues
Fear creeps in and the past comes back to haunt

You replay and magnify mistakes made and cringe at the ways you handled them
The only words you can manage are bleahs , blahs and the :S icon on MSN
Weariness, jadedness and pessimism sap the energy
Listlessness set in, melancholy seeps in
You wish you were a tad more nonchalant letting go of that something/someone

Faith wavers, you falter
Songs and verses fail to console
You realise that it's not that easy to obey and to hand over control

Days in and out
The happy and the sad
The highs and the lows
The ups and the downs
The weaknesses-
Through which the Lord's strength is made perfect.

Oh Lord, help me believe in this today.

Listen to your GP teacher

Remember what your GP teacher said.
Don't laugh
Don't jeer
Don't nod off
Don't forget the lessons after the 'A's

Cos that's what foolish me did
And I am suffering the consequences now
I DIDN'T WIN THE AUTOGRAPHED CORRINE MAY CD !
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!


"Read and understand the question carefully. Don't plunge into writing straight away"

DJ: And now is the chance for you to win Corrinne May's autographed CD. Send ur sms with Love, ur name, IC, and the reasons...

With my rapid fingerskills,
I punched in my name, IC and the reason: The perfect CD that teaches, encourages, touches, heals and inspires. Songs for every season in time.
Sent the message off
Hmmz, for once, I am quite satisfied with my answers. Think, I may stand a fighting chance.

DJ: and the reasons why you deserve to win her CD!

Lesson #1: Out of Point. Nothing else matters.

"Write simply. Just state what's necessary. Don't be superfluous. There's no need for flowery language"

DJ: Congratulations goes to the first winner and his reason is, I can't sleep without listening to her songs

Lesson #2:

I can't sleep without listening to her songs -->2 verbs
The perfect CD that teaches, encourages, touches, heals and inspires.--> 5 verbs

Who won? Enuff said.

"Write in the shoes of your marker- they go thru thousands of scripts. Try to understand how they think to impress"

DJ: The 2nd winner is XXX and she says she deserves to win because, corrinne may's songs put tears in her eyes. Awww...this CD is for you, honey....

Lesson learnt: Haiz....There were sooo many clues when she was interviewing Corrinne May. She said Corrinne May's songs made her cry, melted her heart. And after all, she's hosting...Love Songs. Sharks!

Yes, GP teacher.
I am sorry for blaming my lousy GP grades on your tyrannical teaching style, your insistence on fontsize 12, times new roman writing with 2 fingers spacing for each paragraph and your mood swings.
Sorry for boring you so much you always nod off in class.
Sorry for misleading you into misunderstanding our meekness and silence as cockiness
Sorry to have stared at the window longingly when you were teaching us gerunds and indirect speech unlike other teachers bringing them thru current issues and lively debates.

The least i could do now, is to do corrections(in green of course- i didn't forget that was the designated corrections colour for those long essays).

Why I deserve Corrinne May's CD:

1. She made me believe in Love once again

2. Her songs introduced me to Class 95FM and I can't stop loving it now!

3. Her songs soothe me like hot cocoa on a rainy day

More reasons here

Which Singaporean Blogger Are You?

Ok,yes, I admit...this is how bored I've become or RATHER, I'm very *ahem* kindly trying to accomodate feedback from my readers who's telling me to post more photos and write simpler stuff. So there, you'll have it. A babelicious photo (if only it was mine...) and simple to understand sentences.

For once, I kinda fancy the description given the very first time I try the test. No need for tries after tries, no need to devise my own to yield more accurate results:). Not bad. I like... And yeah, another blog I can read.Muahhh.

Congratulations Cranberrymist, you are...

Scarlett Ting of joewei.blogspot.com

You are independent, smart and beautiful. Its too bad you don't see that yourself because life's little difficulties brought down a lot of your self confidence. As a result, you talk cryptic and you don't trust people easily. You care a lot for your friends and your loved ones, sometimes even more than you care for yourself, although they don't always seem to appreciate it. Don't let that affect you. As the saying goes, you don't miss the water till the well runs dry. So hang in there, you're a star in the making.

Which Singaporean Blogger Are You?