Tired...
Tired of....
Eating dinner past supper times ; dozing off with hair still wet
Wearing off the soles of working heels with all the rushing to, fro and during work; Leaving the new cross trainers untried on the shelf.
Sleeping reduced to a nap; meeting ups and conversations condensed to smses
Complaining of how bad it is; imagining how good it is/can be
Trying to fuel optimism and positivity; trying to subdue the negativity and the angst
Psyching myself to perservere; stirring myself to quit and walk away
Inunduating the mind with encouragements that fail to pick me up; dishing out encouragements that fail to mean anything to me anymore
Enough of the feel-good/picture perfect/heartwarming/long and preachy posts.
Enough of being overly obliging,chirpy, concerned, understanding, and level headed.
Enough of acting strong, mature, independent and resilient.
Enough of masking the weariness, vulnerability, confusion and disappointments
For the longest time, I just try not to show and voice the agony and affect others.
But I am no angel.
Tonight, there's no moral of the story.No lessons to be imparted. Nothing to gloat about or be proud of.
Tonight, just let me wallow in self pity and know that i can be so weak and need God so.
posted by Cranberrymist at 2:53 AM
8 Comments:
Talking abt wet hair... get a hair dryer! I've been without one for years.. been holding it off.. but now, a hair dryer does miracles for your sleep.. you sleep better.. trust me!
we do need to take time out to whine, complain, be at our bitchest.. just to be transparent and accepted the way we are.. no more no less... wanna hang out together to bitch at toast sunday?!
I've given up on washing my hair when I worked late.. Have to wash it again the next morning anyway, so don't see the point in washing it so late at night..
Anyway, just a few months more and the peak will be over.. So just bear with it for a while more! :)
And sorry that I can't meet u gals tml.. But we will meet up real soon ok?? I love you!! :)
poor girlie. hang in there.
i know u'll survive.
at least, i entertain u w my silly little stories no? :P i cun believe it but i think i've sprained my thumb. just from steering. :S
ah well. i'm the queen of incidents and accidents.
God Bless.
sometimes you need to just rant and wallow in self- pity. just not for too long.
you know you can always continue ranting to me when need be.
- best fren. :)
Not sure how i'm gonna last thru e next few wks n mths but I will eventually survive to talk about it someday i guess.
And ranting doesn't solve e problem, dunno wat does? I need some peace to go forth.
But aniwei, thx babes. It really means a lot to have this wall of support. Luv ya and happy V/friendship day.
*hugs* one day at a time, and it'll pass. give your best shot for now but don't forget about the life outside you are yearning for.
wl...after one big round...blogspot's still the best huh?at least you can still access it. And yes...i take a moment to look at the MNG sand every nite so tt i won't forget to dream!:)
Happy V day and thx for all e msn chats.
eh, i really lodge formal complaint. actually, just wanted verbal. but they insisted. otherwise cannot switch guy. but i didn't say him v bad lah. say a bit only.
afterwards, i felt quite bad. cos i also din clarify things properly with him. cld/shd have asked him for better explanation... but i dunno, he just irked me so much i cldn't communicate w him.
the replacement guy... was some old man. the first thing he kept asking me "subject wat?" i heard him repeating "bet wat?" then he got fed up and checked himself. haha. in the end he din chop my booklet! dunno who is he also. sigh. so drama today can?
after that, i wondered if i shd have "complained" at all. seemed to have jumped from one furnace to another. hope things will be fine.
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