A person's worth

Proof.
It's been schooled and ingrained in us - to substantiate our actions, to back up our words.

A person's credibility , a person's worth - all build up from evidence in the form of results, achievements, appraisals.

A small dose of it maybe motivating and inspiring-
For vindication- to prove someone who has put you down, wrong
For that boost of confidence- that you can actually do it, and do it well.

But not when, insidiously, proving becomes a reflex, that we rely, assess and perceive our own worth from ...

So much so that...
We cannot get over how clumsy we are, just cos we tripped on the way up the stage
We deem ourselves incompetent, cos we were slow in getting something done, and making mistakes
We are boring and unhappening, just cos we prefer to stay at home over the weekend rather than go clubbing and drinking
We dun sign up for marathons cos we are overly concerned that we would come in last and be an embarrassment


It's a thin line, and it may seems like a defensive stance that reeks of someone who is unmotivated & uninitiated or simply can't be bothered.

But just what are we trying to prove? Who are we trying to please?

Assumptions

People who are fat eat a lot
Working late shows one's dilligence and commitment to work
Teachers are all prim and proper
Snaking queues mean food must be fantastic

Assumptions that leap to and plant themselves in the mind
Faster than a snap of the finger
That seems so handy in this world of instant solutions - of 'elevator pitches' , snapshots, executive summaries
We jump in and adopt them and then pride ourselves that we've reached out to yet another person, got to know someone better...but really, how much do we truly understand of someone else?

This is not a want- to- change- the world post, and i must admit that , sometimes, i don't even want to invest that time /energy to understanding someone better.

But pls stop assuming that just because

I smile and laugh with you, i am always cheery, good and fine and i like you
I go to uberburger, i tried the $101 burger
I have an appointment after dinner, must be with a boyfriend

...