Commencement 2005

We were kids once more...

The high-pitched squeals
The excited chatter
The warm hugs
The wacky poses
The lines that were impossible to form and keep straight

On this big day,
That marks the end of a chapter and the beginning of another.

As frens spewed many a congratulatory smses
And fellow classmates helped fuss over the motarboard to sit it firmly on the head
As Mum affectionately chided, for cutting the hair soo short
Ah, the tables have turned...from those days I launched cold wars and sulked for days as protest for having the hair snipped too short
And Dad, always wanting to cut a stern figure, attempts an admonishment- on responsibility and punctuality- one tt's well-deserved, for pulling off an SMU-characteristic last minute rush and arriving later than the guests did.

For the poses struck and the camera flashes all round...

The manual camera has been replaced with the digital camera
The braces have given way to neat, pearlie white teeth
The bushy eyebrows plucked and shaped to perfect arcs
Only those eyebags betrayed the age

In that Kodak moment,

The differences in opinions were put aside
Th unhappiness was forgotten
The carelessness was condoned
The lateness was forgiven
As all participate in easy banter and mock jibes
In the celebratory air of the joyous occassion
In the trust and familiarity that's been built up over the 4 years


Tomorrow...

The big bad working world beckons
With deadlines, quotas and expectations
Of responsible adults and diligent workers
Of delivering profits and generating wealth
A dose of wariness once more
A tad of diplomacy put up
As the assimilation into the a new environment starts
For the cut-throat climb up the corporate ladder

May I remember and act upon,
The simple but precious message during kindergarten graduation
That I was reminded of during service again
To trust and obey in Him
For He will never fail me

To Blogger, With Love

Dear Blogger,

Don't try too hard to recall who I am. You won't know me. I know quite a bit about you though- your frens, your foes, your ups, your downs, your fears, your joys, your failures and triumphs. Even your supper and the booze.

Below is my confession and aplogies, whom I hope you will accept. For all the misdeeds, I seek your magnanimity and forgiveness.

Of how deplorable I was,
To click on those links without permission
To go through the labyrinth of nicknames
To get hold of your blog address;

While you,
Exemplified how much discipline and respect you have for others
By not trespassing on my blog
Even when my blog address was so blatantly obvious from my nick
Sorry

For how wronged and maligned you must feel,
Of the accusations flying around on your blog
Of wannabe whistle-blowers demanding how sitecounter readings can register such a big leap in numbers but not in the number of comments.
Of how F5 was widely suspected to be the key culprit behind those magnificent sitemeter numbers
Pardon me, for being in the passive lurker


For staying awake into the wee hours of the morning,
Just to upload pictures of refreshing drinks and describing the hi-life of clubbing, pubbing and partying to share with readers ;

While I hit the sack
Right after going for Breadtalk's 5th birthday celebrations
Without alerting my readers
Selfishly leaving all traces of the oil soaked, butter-glistening breads in, and only in the stomach
My ap0logies


For your thoughtfulness,
Posting entries only at the end of the day
So that readers can read in the comfort of their home;

While I inconsiderately post mine,
During the first break of dawn
So that they get caught, when sneakily reading it in the office
Pls forgive


Of how you tried to make your posts inspiring, happy and positive
Only to incur the wrath, nasty and hurtful emails of those telling you to stop acting cute;

While all I do is whine, lament, and complain in my blog
To receive the thank you notes and comments that I am so understanding and have expressed what they felt
I am ashamed

For the privacy that you sacrificed, so that readers get a glimpse of your thoughts, life and frens
Only to get snubbed as an attention seeker and have your secrets pried open by strangers;

While the cowardice in me twist and turn fables and fairy tales, concoct long stories to mask my real life stories
And get away with praises of having devised challenging brain teasers
I am embarrassed


Of how you have considered blogicide to end the pain
But still get no rest and peace
With volumes of rowdy readers and strangers galvanised to overturn the decison
Making nuisance comments
Demanding you make a comeback to give them more entertainment
Generating thousands of hits on your site counter;

Whereas, I, who have threatened to stop blogging many a times
Hardly receive a whimper of protest
Indicating the respect that I command
Silence, which means respect and consent
Terribly sorry


You so dun deserve this.
When all you've done is to help us kill time, save money that otherwise had to be spent on movie fee hikes, provide entertainment, fodder for gossips and ice breakers in awkward times.

I only hope the stakes would turn.


Your faithful blog lurker,
Cranberrymist

Better off...

Was reminded of a story tt feels vaguely familiar, a story tt due to memory lapses, is probably a merger of a few tales, a story tt has, in some parts, been filled with real tales where the storyline can't be recalled, as it gets retold from generation to generation.

That of a bird, who fell from a tree and injured its wing. Who was thankfully saved by a couple. The couple gave the bird the best care. Housed it in a comfortable and spacious cage. Fed and nursed it back to health.

However, the bird, no matter how grateful of the care lavished on it, longed to return back to the sky. However happy it felt, there was a tug deep within it to go back to where it belonged.

The couple were distraught and perturbed- they couldn't comprehend why. The skies were so unsafe, so fraught with dangers. Predators loomed , harsh weathers were often. All is well in your cage. There's no need to worry about food nor shelter. You are safe.

For the goodness and kindness the couple showed, the care, concern and attention that have been lavished on the it, the bird tried hard to get used to the sheltered life. But it couldn't, it felt miserable, lifeless, limp. It wanted to show how grateful it was, but it simply can't garner the strength or spirit to do it.

One day, it heard the unclicking of the latch. It was free...its wings ,stimulated by the wind, gathered strength that very moment , and with a flap, it flew off. Back to the skies, back to where it came from, into the arms of its natural home.

While younger days would have me rooting for the couple and slamming the bird for its ingratitude, today, i grasped a new perspective to this story. Today, I judged less, attributed less blame to the bird and adopted more understanding.

Perhaps, at times, things are best left in their natural states. The couple aren't the bird and vice versa, and as strong as their bond may be for one another, they can't go beneath the skin to truly, and fully comprehend the feelings and the inner world of the other party. All set out with good intentions and desires, but that alone, may not be able to see them through till the end of the mission/goal due to conflicting perceptions, values and beliefs.

Hawker centres were once a fodder of such discussions. The food, so tantalising and uniquely prepared, stand a chance of being pitted against world class cuisine. If only, hawker centres were not that stuffy, the place could be more trendy, the hawkers can be cleaner...

So the action began, with upgrades, revamp, renovations, hygiene grading system, even education for hawkers to be more hygenic, serve healthier food, be more tourist friendly.
But the hawkers were stifled under the new regime, they couldn't show their flair. They felt miserable. They felt suppressed. The people who had made it happen, on the other hand, felt miffed and exasperated- for what did they do wrong? All these, were for the ultimate good of the hawkers, who are likely get more business, earn more income.
But though customers have to sweat it out no more, somehow, the food just didn't taste as good as before. The essence of it was lost.

Nothing's perfect but,perhaps, there is no need for anxiety, pity, overbearing concern or helpful interference because people and creatures have been endowned with characteristics/qualities necessary for their own survival and for them to thrive. It's a fine line between being at peace and being resigned/apathetic. And saying things like 'things are meant to be' seems to be taking the easy way out. But while the short term may see many peaks and troughs, in the long run, things even out. It can be called leaving it to nature, letting nature take its course, or for me, entrusting things into His hands that one day, as far as the day may be, as difficult as it may be to visualize how things can ever turn out fine, as impossible as it is- it one day would, if only I trust and keep my faith in Him.

And I hope,

The bird , happy in the blue skies, would occassionally take a flight back to catch a glimpse of the couple who gave it back its life

Europe Trip 2005 - In Review

It's funny how feelings are. How fickle they can be.

In the time I was away...
As much as I took in the sights, people and culture
As much as I indulge in those fluffy, creamy, caramel-oozing, delicious pastries and tarts
As much as I laughed and giggled, unwound and relax

A part of me kept longing to come home, to the:

• Comforts and convenience of home
• Animated voices of friends who are just a phone call away
• Privacy of my own room and space
• Happening blogs to keep up with the updates in their lives
• Soothing voices and songs on Class 95
• MSN for the juicy gossips and lively chats
• Spicy aroma and affordability of the local dishes
• Solitude and time alone on my morning jogs

But now that I am back...

I am missing the:

1. Elation on our (and only our) faces that we tried so hard to conceal when the flight was delayed. Totally smothered by the free international buffet breakfast, and the lasagne and mutton curry supper
2. Detection and confrontation with the Italian ticket officer who attempted to shortchange 5 seemingly innocent and blur gals in foreign land. Wrong move, officer. We learnt our AT on Parmalat well enough to be cautious in Parmalat land.
3. Human looping system, where conversations are repeated over and over again, so that preoccupied cameragal can be filled in as to what the rest were discussing about
4. Drama and spontaneous scriptwriting course on the roads, content covered included innovative elements like interpretation of foreign language and expressions, subsequent weaving and translation to a timeless Mandarin script, featuring princess, jealous gf and a chauvinist bf
5. Race to be the fastest and cleanest gelato/ice cream eater and the jibes and jeers the dirtiest gelato eater had to take. Alas, sadly though, I think she has removed the evidence by sending her bag for dry cleaning:P
6. Blending into tour groups to leech on the tour guides to hear the history and the significance behind the many paintings, monuments, musuems and buildings
7. Shrill whistle blow and strong gust of wind that threatens to blow one away when the train shuttles past
8. The signature, crestfallen 'huh' expression when we met with incredibly unreasonable people and dingy quarters
9. So Singaporean trait of apartment viewing and my, the steps we climbed. A breath of fresh air and home- cooked pasta never felt/tasted better
10. So construction worker trait of hanging our clothes on twine to air and dry in our squatters and incurring the wrath and disgust of the poor cleaner
11. Finding out the hard way the genuinity of a LV bag -through a stab of pain and a large blue black after getting hit by one
12. Excited passing of the 'baton' aka. a hot baguette around to share the freshness and the crispness of the crust tt oozes from the baguette. And how can the nicely wrapped eclairs and meringue tarts be forgotten?
13. Savouring of pate and nissin cup noodles- our delicacy dishes- to make up for the days of meals with only bread dipped in olive oil
14. Straying gazes from Gaudi architecture to furious shots to remember the Zara we din get a chance to go into
15. Gulping down of a whole bottle of water instead of sips from the water fountain that is said to bring one back to Barcelona. Doubled assurance that we'll be back with a vengeance to complete the shopping that couldn't be done cos of the holiday
16. Bedtime peppered with one liner lullabies from the magnanimous gal who volunteers to be the last to bathe ... Somewhere over the Rainbow, Luck be your lady tonight....Zzzzzzz
17. Search for a Whittard tea shop , for the many free doses of diff flavoured tea, hot and cold - to meet our daily water intake, but ending up having to pay for pricey toilet visit after
18. Exhilaration of being given a Krispy Kreme doughnut to try for free when queueing up to buy one. Wonderful marketing.
19. Spilitting up to do individual shopping at Harrods to find everyone with brimming baskets in where else but the food hall.
20. Supermarcardo search in every city and the overstaying -in every single one of them
21. Slapping of body butter on every part of our body, hair included. Almost did that to our bread, din we?:P
22. Rustling/Crinkling symphony of plastic, ziploc and paper bags
23. Motion sleepiness whenever we step on any transport- leaving us with no time to participate in some dramatic episodes like nitpickings, quarrels and catfights

Most of all, I miss the poking and shaking each morning when giving you'll the wake-up calls:)

A backpacking trip like this, the simple life as we aptly coined it, I don't think I would ever embark on again. Once is enough. But what was felt, shared and learnt would stay with me for a long time and put a smile on my face when I see something that triggers the memory. Stairs. Tartar sauce. Pigeons:)

The richest lesson learnt- especially in tiring and draining times- is to know that my Lord is always there to lend a listening ear. To carry me through. To anchor me. To shower His blessings and protection upon me, to keep me safe. To straighten out vexing time schedules of connecting trains and flights. To bestow calmness and peace upon me as i figured out how to operate the toilet lock that refused to open. Thank you Lord for your protection and love!

It has been an amazing journey- but much of the fondness comes only on hindsight. Not when it is still ongoing, more likely when it's converted to memories. Experiences like these require time to digest and appreciate.There will be times of reluctance and dread, when one is in the thick of the action, but perservere, and endure through it, and the snugness of those sweet memories would be exclusively yours to keep and store. I'm glad I have been through it.

This is for you, big picture gal, one day, someday, I KNOW you would grow to love what you are doing and have the sense of belonging to your 'office'. All it needs is time to get used to the rhythms and a mind that is focused on Him to carry you through.

To readers who are not i) my travel mates ii) 'big picture' gal and have read to this point. Whoa! Either you'll are very 1) kaypoh:P - the long list above wld prob have bored you'll to tears with its irrelevance or 2) kind - to listen to my ramblings. Whatever it is, that's a lot of stamina! My way of saying thanks to all the SMS, email and comments of concern and encouragement during the trip. *heehee* Do drop me a comment for more rewards ;)

Let me assure you'll though, that this is the one and only time your reading power would be put under test. This would be my only entry on the trip. Besides, most of the time 1)Was too tired to document my thoughts 2) too lazy to copy from the only dilligent journal writer on the trip as to what's been happening every single day.

Hopefully, my painstaking entry here would have cured all my frens out there, who seems to be travelling all over the world on grad trips, business trips and what nots, of their jetlag and those in Singapore- of their work/internship fatigue and insomnia:)

Winners and Losers

So...London had the last laugh and won the Olympics bid for 2012.

While elation, celebration and jubilation filled the air in the British camp, the atmosphere couldn't be more starkly contrasted over at the French side- one of gloomy silence and painful defeat.

Much as I had hoped London would win , for its vibrancy, diversity and splendour, sympathies goes to the Parisians. The sense and dismay of loss is not an unfamiliar one.

Winning and losing.
One of the most common, recurrent themes in life.
In sporting events, screen awards, reality shows like American Idol
On a more personal level: in academic developments, relationships and job progressions.

No one likes to lose. To be defeated.
After all the investments and efforts that have been devoted to the cause.
After all the speculation that one will 'win'. By default. Just because one is the forerunner.
After all hopes and votes of confidence are pinned on one. Especially after being the hot favourite.
The stress of living up to it all.
The pressure that has to be handled.
The expectations to be fulfilled.

Yet, everyone who is not personally involved or emotionally invested in the game, silently favours the idea of a dark horse. The idea of a pleasant surprise- is a welcoming idea.So long as one is a bystander, it's an exciting show. The jolt of thrill in an otherwise boring awards presentation. The twist in the plot. The drama. The shocked disbelief on the winner's face and brave smile that the losers' have to force upon him/herself

It's tough to accept defeat/rejection, even when the limelight evades and the initial frenzy subsides

The feelings of having let down supporters
The shattered confidence
The gloom and doom
The many questions that probably won't be answered- of what one did wrongly? The if onlys.
It's hard to swallow the pride.
Much easier to just slump into dejectedness. Give up. Not compete again. Wallow in self-pity

Nobody likes to concede defeat. But yet, in any situation, there can be many losers but only one 'winner'. The odds are so much higher that one would be a 'loser'- not just once, but many times in life. Afterall, the probability that it would occur is higher. So shouldn't more effort be put into arming oneself with the skills and attitude to manage failures, to emerge stronger?

It's cliche but truly, personal experiences and that of many friends around have proved true-
That time would wash away what feels like the humiliation and embarrassment associated with defeat.
That the time taken to reflect, pray and improve are much more rewarding
The humbleness in defeat will do one much good in keeping one level-headed and gracious.

Life don't unravel itself in one straight track- winners may not necessarily attain the best nor do losers get stuck with the worst loots.

And...when victory finally comes- nope, it won't come soon, it won't come easy, but when it finally does...it would be so much sweeter having been accustomed to the bitter taste of defeat.

P.S: This is for you, E, 'textbooky' as it may sound. For myself too, as a reminder. Dun be disheartened and will be praying for you.

Not JetLag, It's Food and Shoplag

Except for a few yawns and nods the past few days, haven't been suffering from much of a jetlag...not yet maybe.

But...it has only been 3 days, 1 weekend, since I touched down and I have:

Swiped the card 4 times
Bought 9 tops
Wiped out the food counters of Crystal Jade, Bengawan Solo, Din Tai Fung, Lemongrass, Cedele, Ichiban Boshi and (embarrassingly) even Subway which were a dime a dozen in Europe.

And since the Great Singapore Sale is still on, the temptation of entering a MNG and Zara lingers irrestibly
In the food arena, the likes of Blu Jaz Cafe, Purvis Street Hock Lam Beef Noodle, Pete's Place, Toast, Prego, N.E.W.T, Chinatown are beckoning at me

After having to multiply prices by 2 or 3 times for the past month, after being blown away by the outrageous price of a diminutive looking samosa, after being denied shopping at Zara and El Corte because of a holiday, having witnessed a pandan cake that cost an outrageous 18 Sing Dollar... all have broken loose and everything here in Singapore feels cheap and good.

I gotta go on a diet tomorrow. I gotta live like a pauper! Pls frens, help by imposing the restraining order on me!


P.S: For those interested, some photos are up for viewing.
Most of the photos follow the formula, n=1 or n-1 persons, n being the number of pple on the trip. We were at all times cautious of pple snatching away the camera so 99% of our photos were take-it-ourselves photos.

Official camera: Canon Powershot 95A for its widely acknowledged superior photo taking quality unlike mine. Not to mention the greedy owner who borrowed one too many memory cards:P

Btw, I hereby declare official place for trip narration to be Blu Jaz Cafe. After a mth of lugging 20+ kg of stuff, the laptop is too heavy to be lugged ard for photo viewing except at abovementioned spot:)