Never say never...

Pinned down another reason for my listlessness recently. A few days back in one click of the keypad-i accidentally deleted all my smses on my handphone. Din feel anything much at that moment but the sense of loss has been mounting and gripping me over the days as i recall various msgs of encouragement, gossips, well wishes, sympathies - the exchanges of my daily life and a few special smses that I have painstakingly kept despite the constant threat of not having any more message space. Those special messages from special someones where the msgs would be opened, read and re-read , mused and savoured over and over again. In there, includes an sms from one whom i will never hear from again....and with my accidental deletion,another piece of him is reduced from a physica possession that i had to an all so ethereal memory.

Never, the word has take on overwhelming meaning and depths since a certain day not so long ago. And a gasp was all i could manage when the profound meaning and implications of the word first hit me. It's an exclusive word that has been over- and mis-used but when realization dawned on me that fateful day, it eliminated many situations I have previously termed as 'never' - not doing well for a presentation is not never, nor is failing an exam, not being able to get on the honours list; breaking-up (Note from my language coach 8/12/04: It should be breaking up...its two words :P) is not never, nor is not clinching the interview or the dream job. And yes, this is what i am trying to remind myself the past few days...trying not to be myopic and not to be bowled over by the blind pursuit for something called success.

Postscript:Yet through it all, He has been faithful and my pillar of strength. Amen.