Why?

Why is it that I...

Switch the radio to blasting, adrenalin-rushing, heart-thumping songs when what I need is soothing, classical tunes to help me focus on studying

Indulge in those butter-soaked breads and sugar-laden cakes all the time while fully aware that they are the main culprits in my fats/carbohydrates accumulation and weight gain

Arrange action packed, back to back meetings when I'm so exhuasted and desperately need more rest to prevent the furious nodding off at work

Stay up late despite my skin's violent protest at the lack of beauty sleep

Still don't/forget to save and back up files despite the numerous traumatic accounts/experiences of painstakingly done/downloaded projects/music lost

Drown myself with noisy and frivolous chats when I ought to spend time alone to quieten down, think and sort through my feelings & thoughts and do a self-check and evaluation

Dwell in self-pity, agonise and harp on grades when it's over. And I thought I have experienced enough of life & death to know that this is so miniscule and insignificant and I have been so blessed in other ways

Harbour expectations when in most(all) cases, the hopes vanish, and end in hard falls and bitter disappointments

Know someone/something is not worth my pursuit and yet still brood and hanker over the person/thing

The situations re-enact themselves time and again...Is it stubborness? Ill-discipline? Denial? Carelessness...Don't I learn?